Dating, “Survivor” Style: 3 Ways Dating Is Just Like a Reality Show

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Dating is like Survivor.

I know. You may be wondering what a reality TV show about people stranded on a tropical island competing for prize money has to do with your dating life.

Well, I’ve competed on Survivor.

…And I’ve “competed” in the dating arena, as well. And, I’ve as coached clients through their dating challenges. As it turns out, I’ve discovered that Survivor and dating have a LOT more in common than I ever would have thought.

The truth is, some of the reasons why we fail in dating are the same reasons people fail in the game of Survivor (and I would know ALL about both).

Survivor; dating

Let’s talk about the 3 ways dating can be like being a castaway on Survivor.


Get Yours!: 4 Steps to Get What You Want

A year or so ago I was having a spirited discussion over dinner with two female friends when the subject of marriage came up.

One of the women (*Kristen) had met her husband while in high school. Even though they battled distance (he remained in Atlanta while she went to college in Florida and subsequently took a job in Chicago), love survived and they’re now happily married with a son.

The other friend (*Janet) was single although she had high hopes of one day obtaining a degree in MRS. As Janet reiterated her adoration of Kristen’s marriage and how much she wanted a union just like it, Kristen gave her a powerful dose of reality. “You have no idea what it takes to have what we have.

Initially, we were both taken aback by her statement but then reality set in. She was right.

However, the honesty embodied in her words is applicable in all aspects of life. Kristen was behooving us to understand the work required to obtain the results we craved. Although our discussion was specific to marriage, it could easily be applied to career, physical fitness and finances.


The hardest part is getting started, so let’s talk about the 4 steps it takes to get yours!  (more…)

#MentorMonday [Recap]: You Have To Be ‘FUQUITABLE’!…and more Networking Secrets From the @GrownZone!

“How do I increase opportunities in my life?”

When Paul is out and about, this is THE #1 question people ask. Romantic relationships, new business connections and career and job shifts are all opportunities for increase in our lives.

In this episode of #MentorMonday, Paul speaks with partners in business and life, Alfred Edmond, Jr. and Zara Green. As founders of the Grown Zone and hosts of GrownZone Radio Alfred and Zara are specifically qualified to not only teach us how to increase the size of our networks, but also to maximize the value that we add and receive from the opportunities present.

Networking; #MentorMonday


(Un)Networking: Top 3 Dating Strategies to Apply to Networking

In many ways, traditional networking is a lot like dating.

It’s a part of life you get more tired of the older you get – especially as it gets harder to find people who are looking for the same things you are.

Networking events are at the center of this problem. As David Siteman Garland put it, “Networking events are like nightclubs, because most people there are just looking for a professional one-night stand.”

The most basic problem with traditional networking events is that they are mixing bowls for professionals who are there for different reasons. No matter how you slice it, everyone in the room is focused on his or her own personal agenda – whether it be signing up a new client, creating awareness for their business, or connecting with someone in the hopes of developing a mutually beneficial relationship.


So, to help you navigate through, I am thrilled to share with you my top 3 effective dating strategies that can be applied to your professional networking efforts. (more…)

Work It!: 4 Ways To Make Your Dating Network Work For You

“Your network predicts nearly every opportunity (career, platonic & romantic) you’ll have in life.” – Paul C. Brunson

If Paul’s quote is accurate, some of us are in big trouble. Although the internet and social media platforms have expanded our reach tenfold compared to decades past, it still feels smaller in terms of dating.

Is it because we’ve somehow found ways to shrink our ‘vast’ networks or because we don’t leverage their full potential? Is it due to applying unrealistic (and unnecessary) rules to our dating pool? Or, is it just nature’s way of forcing us to work harder for love? Do we simply enjoy having an inordinate number of ways to (over)complicate our dating lives?

Dating Network

Instead of having your network work against you, here are 4 ways to make your dating network work harder for you!


The 2 Most Important Ingredients for Any Successful Relationship

I remember being at a crossroads in my life. Some would call it a rut, where I felt like I just couldn’t get ahead. I thought I was outshining everyone but not getting noticed.   I was out-talking everyone but not getting heard.

Then, God began to use me as a mentor to a few young men and it changed my focus. I realized instead of trying to outshine and out-talk everyone else, I needed to strive to out-serve. That’s what has made all of the difference.


It was in serving others that I realized what healthy relationships should be comprised of. Let’s talk about how you can evaluate your relationships with the 2 ingredients necessary for any successful relationship…


Are Married Men Sabotaging Marriage For the Single Woman?

For the past few years, I’ve been in that phase where a large percentage of my social circle is getting married and having babies. While some single friends are struggling to adjust, I would venture to say I’m doing just fine.

I’m not weeping in a corner wondering what has become of my so-called life, but I’m also not doing “I’m single & lovin’ it” cartwheels down my driveway, either.

I’ve attended enough beautiful weddings to appreciate the promise that exists in an ‘I Do.’ And, I’ve witnessed enough nasty divorces to understand how quickly things can take a terrible turn for the worst.

For most single women open to one day tying the knot, marriage is sacred. It’s the culmination of finding Mr. Right and securing that once elusive thing called everlasting love. However, as I talk to many unmarried friends lately, there seems to be an increased hesitation to exchange rings and recite vows.

Married Men

A negative view of marriage has definitely emerged carrying with it a slew of pessimistic hearts and downturned mouths.

Why, though?

A few interactions with some married male friends and acquaintances tell the story…


3 Ways to Think About Creating a Lasting Legacy

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How do you measure success?

It’s true that success can mean many things to many people. When many people answer this question, their minds automatically go to: money, power, prestige (or any iteration of these three).

What’s the true measure of success for me? Legacy.

I know some of you may be asking, “How do I begin to create a legacy?” Whether you know it or not, you’re actually creating it – every single day.


Let’s talk about 3 ways I suggest you begin picturing what your own legacy will look like… (more…)

How To Combat Inspiration Overload

Hello, my name is Ashley and I’m addicted to inspiration.

Early morning before I’m well awake, my iPhone starts buzzing with email subscriptions from the likes of Deepak Chopra and Oprah on “Perfect Health” and “Living Your Best Life Now.” Good friends start texting daily mantras. Thanks to my YouTube app, inspirational videos are right at my fingertips, and I’m tempted to click on the new motivational message by Eric Thomas before I’ve even brushed my teeth.

I know I need help, because my inspiration overdoses distract me from completing necessary tasks.


Whoever said, “everything in moderation” could not have been more right. That even includes the “good stuff.” So, how do you handle inspiration overload? Let’s talk about a couple of ways…


The #1 Social Media Mistake We Make

On March  27th I tweeted this:

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24 hours later, I tweeted this:

Screen Shot 2014-03-28 at 2.52.17 PM


3 hours later, I received this tweet:

Screen Shot 2014-03-28 at 2.53.07 PM


My point is simple.