“Troy, I just don’t get it! What do men like?”
I could sense the frustration in her voice as she asked the question. She was just like a woman you may know – one who is frustrated with dating. She is exhausted from the games, tired of the lack of consistency, and worn out from men wanting to give her everything sexual but without commitment!
To her, the men people said were supposed to be so “simple” have turned into physics, accounting, and statistics all at the same time.
Well, the truth is that I can’t tell you what men like because men like different things, but I can tell you (based on my thousands of conversations) 6 things men of substance VALUE most!
What Men of Substance Value Most
1. …Women Who Value Themselves
I know that newer generations are way more liberal in their behavior, and we live in the “don’t judge me age,” but the truth is: women that value themselves are viewed as more worthwhile of our time .
Women who value their bodies, their time, energy and minds are way more appealing to a man of substance. Taking care of yourself shows your ability to nurture, and that’s key if a man is looking for a woman to make a wife and start a family with.
Men are simple but we pay attention way more than we get credit for . How you take care of your body, your house, your car, and your family all matters.
2. …More Peace & Less Chaos
Not the “she doesn’t care what I do and she let’s me take advantage of her” peace, but that “she makes our house peaceful, we both give each other space, and she communicates instead of nagging me” type of peace. That “baby I’m going to watch the game with the fellas and she says “have fun” type of peace. I’m talking about that “hey baby how was your day?” when I walk in the door type of peace.
In other words if as a man you are fulfilling your obligations, she appreciates it and finds more reasons to love and less reasons to nag.
3. …Women Who Get Along Well With Others
Men of substance don’t like to be embarrassed and they value a woman who can handle herself in different places and in situations. I’m talking about the type of women who can be around the fellas and be cool. Or, she can be at the company Christmas party and can handle herself without her man by her side. Men also value the woman who isn’t always the one stirring up the drama. If you have a different circle of friends every few months because you “fell out” with the other ones then we notice and it’s not cute or cool.
4. …Women Who Can Cook!
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know this is a new era and some women don’t feel they should have to cook anymore. I also know that more men are great cooks. So I get it, but I have yet to meet a man who didn’t like for a woman to know how to prepare a good meal.
It’s important if we consider building a family, it’s important for entertaining guests and family, and quite frankly it’s just sexy! We aren’t saying you have to be a gourmet chef but it doesn’t hurt to know how to whip up some spaghetti, or something!
Sure, we can buy food, but watching a woman do her thing in the kitchen is almost an aphrodisiac!
5. …Women Who Support More Than They Discourage
The truth is, men need emotional support from their women . It’s usually the only place where we can be vulnerable enough to admit it. And, men of substance with ambition and dreams need to know that you believe in him. Short, sweet and true.
Yes, I knew you saw this one coming.
But, I’m not saying you should go around giving of yourself to every man expecting him to value you. You don’t want to just be a laymate. That’s not healthy. The sex has to come after the substance , but once the substance is validated and true commitment is formed, then YES, we value sex.
I’m not just talking about the you lie there like a dead fish type of sex either. I’m talking about being an active participant, knowing what you want, and you taking initiative sometimes. Men want to feel wanted just as women do and we want to be assured that we are satisfying you as well. It’s a team effort!
Ladies, you may think that this is BS and that you’ve tried all of these things and they didn’t work. That may be true, and maybe you just didn’t choose wisely or maybe he was just a jerk. Ultimately it’s not a perfect formula and you don’t have to try to have all these qualities at all times.
The question now becomes, “what makes you valuable?” Ask yourself this, but more importantly…know the answer.
This post is written by Troy Spry. Troy is a relationship coach and certified life coach. He is the creator of XKlusiveThoughts.com, a place dedicated to inspiring people to become their best selves. In addition to his website, you can find him on Twitter and Facebook.
Posted on: Mar 14, 2014
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