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PLEASE!!! Can We Ban The Dinner 1st Date?

PLEASE!!! Can We Ban The Dinner 1st Date?

I nominate we declare death to the dinner first date. It’s not that it’s a bad idea. It’s just done to death. Two people sit down, eat food and have a conversation, but what do you really learn about someone from a dinner date that you couldn’t get out of a conversation over coffee in two-thirds less time and for only a fraction of the cost?

First dates should be kept simple — you shouldn’t commit hours upon hours of time and hundreds of dollars to someone you barely know when there is a greater than 50% chance you’re going to want to bail before they bring out the salads. Also, if your goal is to actually get to know someone and learn something about their character, you need to step away from the dining table and engage in some mutual activity. And by activity, I don’t mean sitting in silence for two hours in the safety of an air-conditioned movie theater.

You need to engage. Take a walk together. Go for a bike ride. Play Scrabble or some other two-person board game. Solve a puzzle together. Try out a game or sport that’s new to both of you in order to level the playing field. It’s important to do something that will get both your mouths talking and your minds and bodies moving.

We learn more about people by engaging in activity with them than we’ll ever learn over an overcooked filet mignon and over-priced merlot. Get out of your comfort zone and get into some real conversation starters that jolt both the mind and body. You don’t need a big dinner production to make a lasting first impression. And you don’t need to spend tons of money on a date or in preparation for a date.

Get to know each other before you move on to the fireworks and the fancy dinners and big productions. Just do something small together to get the juices flowing, then build from there. This way, no one feels cheated and no one feels used. You just enjoy each other’s company and have fun, without the pressure to perform that comes with a dinner date. Dating doesn’t have to be a make-or-break situation. It’s about getting to know each other. Thinking outside of the dinner date box can be rewarding — if you’re willing to change your notion of what a first date is.

What do you think? Should the first dinner date be banned or do you see value in it?

Posted on: Jul 18, 2012

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162 comments
Myra Hearts U
Myra Hearts U

Good Ideas for a 1st date: 1. Museum (self-paced walking tour) 2. Informal Lunch (Starbucks and surf the internet, Cici’s Pizza and afterwards play arcade games) 3. Small (not crowded) festival, water park, amusement park, or fair. (not crowded) Bad ideas for a 1st date... 1. Movie Theater 2. Staying in (at either person’s home) 3. A Family Event/Tradition 4. Night Club/Bar

Myra Hearts U
Myra Hearts U

Also, don't be txtn, tlkn, and chatting with them all day until after date 5. Keep it short and sweet and simple...so don't start a pattern of saying Good Morning every morning and Good ight everynight... you're not in a relationship and barely friends (unless u already have established a friendship). So yes, Skype counts too... puppy love is for teenagers! :-) Take your time and be patient, not just ready to dive in head first with a death grip on the person...

Ciquia C Martin
Ciquia C Martin

I'm down. Out with the old, in with the new. :) I don't like being "watched" while eating anyways and it's distracting while you're trying to talk. I like the idea of finding out how creative a guy can be (or how creative I can be) when it comes to planning a date. Thumbs up!

Elisha Graham
Elisha Graham

Ok what is a good date if not dinner and a movie? Oh yea no T V either, ok what do we do go streaking or to the zoo? What?

Crystal Seeley
Crystal Seeley

I agree with no first date in someone's home, but disagree about dinner. Men don't want to spend money or time these days, so it's a good sign that he is willing to do this for you

Laurenia Jenkins
Laurenia Jenkins

I like dinner. It shows me you're willing take a risk and invest a little something...:)

Debbie Harrison Davis
Debbie Harrison Davis

Going out to dinner isn't boring at all. Plenty of time to talk before and after the meal. A comedy club would make a good first date. You can see their sense of humor.

Patrice Larrieux
Patrice Larrieux

Good!!!! And I dnt like invites..Those are the ones usually lying about where they live. Plus, never a real date.

Patrice Larrieux
Patrice Larrieux

Yep, At least there is one lie, about themselves...I speaking of experience.

Patrice Larrieux
Patrice Larrieux

O....M....G!!!!!! Patricia why are you telling the truth so well??? I CANNOT STAND THAT.....plus, when they do come over, they do not know how to leave...

Tyjuana Wilson
Tyjuana Wilson

Welp...we shall see. My first date was a sportsbar/restaurant on the first night of the NFL season. *shrugs*

Mikki Strom
Mikki Strom

We went for a walk in the park. :) Two years later we are planning our wedding.

Asia Henry
Asia Henry

YESSSSS!!!!!! I just posted this exact same thing.

JtSoulbrotha Supreeme
JtSoulbrotha Supreeme

Not really...devils are in church every sunday ^_^ LOL of course they're everywhere else too. I'm just saying.

Joel Condict
Joel Condict

How about the "come to church" first date? At least then you know if they have any spiritual depth!

Abena Sanders Horton
Abena Sanders Horton

Well darn. My husband took me to dinner for our first date. The margaritas were first rate and we're never bored!

Justine Sara Smith
Justine Sara Smith

It is VERY important to NEVER go somewhere private w someone you don't know. Especially if you meet them off the internet or know very lttle about them. I like the posters points about moving and talking although if a guy is not very interested in food or thinks feeding me is a waste of time then I would lose interest in a sec. But then I love food.

Wanda Hill
Wanda Hill

I agree , be creative. I've heard ppl say that they don't want to spend a lot of money dating . You don't have to just be creative. There are tons of free events, museum, go for ice cream and walk in the park, festivals . Subscribe to an event website or magazine find out things that are happening in your city. Anything other than a restaurant and I never go to a guys home or allow him to pick me up on the first date.

Ken Collins
Ken Collins

I am very old fashioned, and dinner is a first step, in my opinion. It's also a security thing for the lady to be in a public place these days. After the first ice breaker, then after mutual consent, do something fun together that you found mutually enjoyable.

Kevin Lewis
Kevin Lewis

Lol••••• I didn't know that was a Rule. When you know better you do better.

Wanda Hill
Wanda Hill

Kevin....You were the exception to the rule...lol!

Kevin Lewis
Kevin Lewis

Wanda Hill why didn't you tell me. Lol•••••• Here I'm thinking our 1st date went very well

Gia Saunders
Gia Saunders

That's good and true you do not get to know someone over dinner. I would rather do something fun where we talk more than chew. In eating we are not talking much and when done we both go our separate ways and what did we learn about that individual absolutely nothing.

CChane'l Unique
CChane'l Unique

Me n my bf went out to dinner on our first date..we was friends 4yrs before the date and we are still together 1 year later and very happy n much in love

Sarah Latunji
Sarah Latunji

I definitely think a more engaging activity like a game or a walk, sport challenge is a great idea for a first date. Dinner can be so nerve racking sometimes and doesn't allow you to be yourself sometimes

Karimah F Razaaq
Karimah F Razaaq

Wow ! I'm glad I didn't take that offer, but he seemed like a such a good guy. I just wasn't feeling it.

Latoya Wakefield
Latoya Wakefield

I agree with the 'simply not safe'. We should be careful who we invite into our homes vice versa. That scene with Anika Noni Rose in 'For Coloured Girls' was scary.

Rasheida Adrianus
Rasheida Adrianus

But who in their right mind would consider "Watching TV at someone's house" to be a real/first date??? Seriously?

Jennifer Lynn Baez
Jennifer Lynn Baez

Exactly. What happen to a Picnic, a walk in the park, putt putt, interaction Would be nice. Not being a couch potatoe.

Lisa C Jenkins
Lisa C Jenkins

And I'm tired of these dog-gone dinner and a movie dates too!!!

Lisa C Jenkins
Lisa C Jenkins

AMEN ... I don't do the hanging out at the house stuff, nope. We are getting out of the house into a public place to be seen by all.

Tiffany Shannon
Tiffany Shannon

I agree. Dinner and movie is so typical and boring. I would prefer something simple but fun to get know the person.

Tahani Shanee
Tahani Shanee

this is the go to move with every bortha in chicago dang near. :( even ones with "money" or class, just earlier i had a manboy tell me "no cat wants to be that guy taking out a thot, in my element i can see who you really are underneath your business side that's all. if we vibe we'll go somewhere i kave no issue with that..." UGH! #lesigh #thestruggle #teamwhiteboy #aintonthat #whyLAWD

Kinya Watkins
Kinya Watkins

I would love to go bowling or to a bat cave something like that that I think would be really fun I've always thought the movies was a bad idea you can't even talk